Posts by Coffee House Girl

12

What Is A Cult? Recognizing And Avoiding Unhealthy Groups

by 3Mozzies in

jw
friends

jayanti tamm author, 'cartwheels in a sari: a memoir of growing up cult'.

what is a cult?

recognizing and avoiding unhealthy groups.

Coffee House Girl

Great article....man when you finally get on the "outside" and look in...it is so glaring and obvious that I was in a cult- and I get frustrated because I want my loved ones to see it too

thanks,

CHG

13

Awwww...people miss me

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

so my mom tells me that my jw niece (whom i have known all my life but has made zero attempts to contact me after i left jdubland) told my mom that she misses me,.

she was invited to a "get together" at a married jw's house and i always went with her to those things before because she is single (because of the narrow field of good jw brothers who want a 30something pioneer who lives with her parents), and i was "spiritually single" (because i had no scriptural grant for divorce because of adultery-he skipped town).

but now she had to go alone and she didn't want to (but she figured she had to go, otherwise people would stop inviting her to do things), and big suprise from a jw "get together"...she didn't have a good time.. aaarg how depressing for her... i had to respond to my mom, so i said:.

Coffee House Girl

Thanks Vamp and Jamie,

sadly my sarcasm doesn't come through in my writing but I did recognize the fact that she only misses the JW drone, she doesn't want to know the real me...but I still felt the need to say something that made me sound like a human being.

13

Awwww...people miss me

by Coffee House Girl in

jw
friends

so my mom tells me that my jw niece (whom i have known all my life but has made zero attempts to contact me after i left jdubland) told my mom that she misses me,.

she was invited to a "get together" at a married jw's house and i always went with her to those things before because she is single (because of the narrow field of good jw brothers who want a 30something pioneer who lives with her parents), and i was "spiritually single" (because i had no scriptural grant for divorce because of adultery-he skipped town).

but now she had to go alone and she didn't want to (but she figured she had to go, otherwise people would stop inviting her to do things), and big suprise from a jw "get together"...she didn't have a good time.. aaarg how depressing for her... i had to respond to my mom, so i said:.

Coffee House Girl

So my mom tells me that my JW niece (whom I have known all my life but has made zero attempts to contact me after I left jdubland) told my mom that she misses me,

she was invited to a "get together" at a married JW's house and I always went with her to those things before because she is single (because of the narrow field of good JW brothers who want a 30something pioneer who lives with her parents), and I was "spiritually single" (because I had no scriptural grant for divorce because of adultery-he skipped town)

but now she had to go alone and she didn't want to (but she figured she had to go, otherwise people would stop inviting her to do things), and big suprise from a JW "get together"...she didn't have a good time.

aaarg how depressing for her... I had to respond to my mom, so I said:

"Tell her that I miss her too, and tell her that I am NOT DEAD, but I am here and she can call me whenever she needs me, anytime."

I hope my mom passes on the message, it will probably come across to a hardcore dub as a slap in the face because "I know better, I know that I am scum because I dont go to meetings anymore and I have the gaul to enjoy a happy life-I know better that she can't talk to me"

but I felt that I had to try anyway-

CHG

9

Listening to your "inner voice" lecture in college

by Coffee House Girl in

so i'm taking a business law course & this week the professor is off on a tagent about listening to your inner voice & the formula for life,.

1. be honest & ethical and work hard..then.

2. watch the opportunties come your way.

Coffee House Girl

Thanks for your comments all-

it is nice to feel liberated from the guilt of living my life, I was just a shadow for so long

I am trying not to grieve over lost time in "dubland", but just view it as part of the journey that makes me who I am, so I am trying to savor and enjoy my college experience, and not be in a huge hurry to make a career for myself by age 40 so I can retire by age 65 and die by 75- I have a plan to guide my life in a certain direction...but how exactly it will work out is unknown and I am open for any possibility.

(yes..I will be balanced too- I am starting a retirement fund after all )

Nice to hear from all of you,

CHG

9

Listening to your "inner voice" lecture in college

by Coffee House Girl in

so i'm taking a business law course & this week the professor is off on a tagent about listening to your inner voice & the formula for life,.

1. be honest & ethical and work hard..then.

2. watch the opportunties come your way.

Coffee House Girl

So I'm taking a business law course & this week the professor is off on a tagent about listening to your inner voice & the formula for life,

he says you must

1. be honest & ethical and work hard..then

2. watch the opportunties come your way

3. listen to your inner voice (instincts) and use your mind to think critically

4. get a job you love

5. find the right person to go on the journey with you-

6. live the summoned life instead of the planned life- that means that life isn't a project to be completed, it is an unknowable landscape to be explored.

so in essence- my professor has given me a logical well expressed key to life, it only took an hour of lecture, did not control my actions in regards to who I can/can't associate with, manage my time, tell me what to read, and he only had to tell me once (this did not require many millions of dollars in publishing countless magazines and books reiterating how I must live my life to be acceptable)

WHERE WAS HE ALL MY LIFE!

And this week since I have been listening to my inner voice I have: found a new job, found a new appartment, and I did it all without prayer!

Life is amazing...just thought I'd share

CHG

41

Elder arrested for stalking

by iceguy in

jw
friends

i just read in the police blog that an elder that went to my former cong was arrested for stalking.

i knew his family well and he is married to my cousin.

this elder and his wife had recently shunned me at the grocery store.

Coffee House Girl

HAHA Laverite!

Unfortunately I have not been able to file invasion of privacy charges against my elder as of yet...the "cease and desist" letter to him which I also filed at the area police department must have helped-

I am actually moving today about 50 minutes away...out of the cong and out of the circuit- so now I am somebody else's problem.

Yes, you can fight stalking today :)

CHG

22

How many went on to college after leaving the JW's?

by Cagefighter in

jw
friends

i guess this is a question mostly for born-ins.

i wonder how many of you went to college after leaving or while you were in and what was your experience like?.

Coffee House Girl

I explained when I left that I wanted to pursue a college degree- I originally went with the aim of becomming a social worker, I planned on getting a BSW and specializing in helping battered women- but after a year I realized that I was pursuing that subject out of feelings of guilt- I thought that maybe my family would except my decision if they could see that I was going to college to help people

Now I have transferred to a state university to pursue a passion I have always had but felt guilty as a JW spending too much time on- art

I am majoring in art history with a minor in advertising and public relations. I plan on working in a museum or gallery as a promoter or organizer of exhibits. I also plan on later going to graduate school, with a masters or PhD in art history I would be able to teach art at the community college level- that would be cool also.

I agree with you flying through writing or composition classes...our experience in dubland gave us good writing skills :)

CHG

15

Ran into not One, not Two, but THREE elders at the same time!

by Soldier77 in

so i'm out doing some shopping at the supermarket and as i'm walking to the checkout, i see my so and his wife (in full fs attire) talking to someone just past the checkout registers.

i am looking for the furthest checkout at this point making sure not to be noticed by the so or his wife.

well, just my freakin luck, there is only one checkout open.

Coffee House Girl

lol soldier...I feel the same way as you do, I hate doing the avoidance dance ( I would've reacted the same as you). I also had an incidence a month ago when I ran into a group of about 10 from my old cong, there were elders, pioneers, and longtime friends...I held my head up smiled big and said Hi as I walked by- I did not even pause for any opportunity for a conversation.

I know there would be a lot of peace of mind if it were all over...but- my mom is so important to me...she is the only dub I care to keep. Thats why I keep dancing.

I am looking to move in May, I hope that will help with the "sightings"- but moving is not always an option for most...I just cant take it anymore- this is a small community and I am tired of looking over my shoulder.

CHG

12

Hey God.....

by Mr. Falcon in

jw
friends

.... you're gonna kill me at armageddon?

well, go right the freak ahead; you'd be doing me a favor..

Coffee House Girl

I used to say that to myself, and I said it to my JW cousin when she was crying because I wanted to leave...

now I don't worry about the big "A" because it is nothing under my control & if it is in God's plan, we really don't know the timing of when, it cannot be predicted so there is no sense in giving it too much thought

I moved on...so should you.

CHG

80

What is it with all the men waking up but the wives stay in? Why is it the opposite for me?

by Cadellin in

this is something i've thought about for a while now.

it seems like the same story on this board over and over--the husband, who also might be an elder, ms, etc.--starts having doubts and researching, aka miseryloveselders and franklin massey and others.

he starts to smell the coffee and realizes that this organization isn't what it claims to be.

Coffee House Girl

Great observations and great thread- as a woman I could identify with everyone's comments and agree as to why I hung on after my exhusband left....I was so submissive to the authority of men in the cong that I felt stuck and felt that it was impossible to have any alternative when in fact...there was a choice

and the emotional factor of leaving your family and thinking of the impact of them left me hanging in much longer than I really wanted to

CHG